There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
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He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
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He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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