Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize