Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
