If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize