Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
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