it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
