I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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