if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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