Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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