I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
