Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
