Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
