The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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