Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
