Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
