Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
