Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
