Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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