3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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