I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
