Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
