Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
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