i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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