what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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