She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
