Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
