when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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