hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
