My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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