it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
