I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize