Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
