Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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