i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
