And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
