Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
