Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize