um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
