I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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