i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
