U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
