One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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