he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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