Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
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What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
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She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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