oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
