I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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