I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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