So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
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she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
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How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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