My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
