yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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