It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
