I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
