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The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Green mimosas i think yes
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
