Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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