Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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