Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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