dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
