she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
