I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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