I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
