PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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