his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
do herpes really smell.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
