How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Randomize
