Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
