dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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