What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He felt like a one man threesome
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
