I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
