Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
