so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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