I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
